2010-01-29T14:40:00.009-05:00

Surround yourself with other successful people....

I had the pleasure last night of attending a networking event which blended philanthropy and business. The women who attended were genuine. They care about their community and they care about one another. It was so refreshing to spend time with the group and I came away feeling energized.

It brought to my mind a concept that I have read and heard many times - surround yourself with other successful people or, even better, people who are more successful than you are. To an outsider this may sound rather elitist, but in reality that is far from the truth. When you surround yourself with other successful individuals you tend to "play up". You are stimulated by the thoughts of the group and the conversation; you get positive feedback and encouragement, and you foster the habits of success. When you surround yourself with negative people, or those who have not attained the success that they desire, your efforts and ideas are often met with negativity. You begin to look around you and see mediocrity as "the norm". You begin to "play down" and stop the behaviors that will take you to the next level in order to fit in with the crowd that surrounds you.

It is so important to surround ourselves with those who share our values and our passion for success. It fosters continuous improvement, stimulates the mind, and challenges us subconsciously to reach new levels of success and fulfillment.

So how do you begin to surround yourself with the right people?

1. Develop centers of influence. Centers of influence are a critical factor to building a successful business. By spending time with those who believe in what you do and are willing to share it with others, you develop confidence and at the same time have the forum to be mentored by individuals that you admire.

2. Join philanthropic groups. One of my core values is philanthropy. I have met a wonderful group of people through my involvement with various charitable organizations. I have found people who put action behind their values. People who have an interest in helping others and a concern for their community exhibit the values that I constantly strive to develop. My interaction with them allows me to further develop myself and be inspired by those who surround me.

3. Executive forums. As entrepreneurs, we are often surrounded by individuals in our organizations who tell us what we want to hear. In reality, what we need is honest feedback from those who have walked this path before and have made it out on the other side. There are very few unique challenges in running a business. Surely the industries, the people and the names may change, but make no mistake, every entrepreneur faces common challenges. When you get a group of entrepreneurs around a table, you are able to pool the cumulative years of knowledge and experience and generate some great thinking and practical solutions.

4. Develop mentors. Mentoring can be as formal or informal as you desire. The main goal is to develop relationships with those that have qualities that you aspire to develop in each area of your life. Seek out those who have had unusual success, take them to lunch, stay in touch, and utilize the relationships to gain ideas and get feedback. Most successful individuals have a desire to help develop others and want to be able to pay it forward however they can.

5. Start moving away from people in your life who provide negative feedback or who do not share your core values. There is no need to judge individuals or feel that we are better than others who do not have the same values as us, we just need to minimize their influence upon our lives. When someone does not share your values, the interaction becomes an energy drain. If it is a social relationship, being around that person makes you feel uncomfortable because there is an inconsistency with the person you want to become. Within an organization, if an employee does not buy into the core values of the company and consistently exhibits behaviors that are out of alignment with those values, they need to be culled out so that they do not bring down other members of the team and create a state of disequilibrium within the organization. The same is true for us in our personal lives. You can't afford to spend your time and energy on those who cause moral or emotional angst in your life. Your success and fulfillment is too important.

Surround yourself with those who have goals, who aspire to be a better version of themselves and who inspire you to do more and be more. Life is too short to have it any other way.

"Life is partly what we make it and partly what is made by the friends we choose" - Tennessee Williams

The International Leadership Institute for Women